Hetastuck
by Blissful Abyss
Summary: A tale about a boy who's forced to save the world with his acquaintances. Rated T for cuss words and terribly short chapters.
1. Enter name

**Hetastuck**

A young boy stands in his room. This boy is about to go on a whole new adventure full of excitement, death, and quite a bit of annoyance, but it is also his sixteenth birthday. Although he has been living for sixteen years, it is only now that he will be given a name. What will you call him?


	2. Try again

** Enter name.**

_Almighty Cusslord._

Nice try, fucking bastardo.


	3. Examine Room

** Try again.**

_Lovino Vargas._

Eh, good enough I suppose.


	4. Lovino: grab a slice of pizza

** Examine Room.**

Your name is LOVINO, but you are known by your chums as ROMANO. It is also your BIRTHDAY. You realise that your room is littered with plates of PASTA and PIZZA. You have a few INTERESTS. You like to CUSS people when they REALLY annoy you, especially if they try and SEXUALLY HARRASS you like some people. But you don't need to know about that yet. You also like things FOR FREE if you can. You are aspiring to be an INTERNATIONAL ARTIST, but you're NOT VERY GOOD AT ART STUFF. You also like to read about ITALIAN CULTURE.

What will you do?


	5. Lovino: find your grabber

** Lovino, grab a slice of pizza**

You look around your room to find multiple slices of PIZZA, all with different toppings. You find yourself quite RAVENOUS, but then you realised that you were just TOO LAZY to even reach for a slice, even if there was one RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. You then just had an idea to save you from actually GETTING THE PIZZA yourself.


	6. Lovino: captchalogue your grabber

**Lovino, find your grabber.**

You looked around your room and find your ANTIQUE ROME GRABBER that one of your chums got you as a CHRISTMAS PRESENT that stood RIGHT NEXT TO A PIZZA SLICE. You didn't really want it, but it was FOR FREE, so you had no problem with it. It's really good to use when you're HARVESTING TOMATOES with a certain GRANDFATHER.


	7. Lovino: get up and do the conga

**Lovino, captchalogue your grabber**

You are somehow able to CAPTCHALOGUE your GRABBER into your SYLLADEX. You don't really know what you did or even how you did. You might have to ask one of your chums on how you did it.

You also realise that you WASTED a lot of time doing this. God, you could be so fucking stupid at times that it hurt.


	8. Lovino: look in your Sylladex

**Lovino, get up and do the conga.**

You swear if you ever decided to do the conga, you were ready to throw yourself out of the window whilst setting yourself on fire it would be so embarrassing. But it's so tempting at the same time. You decide that it would be best to _not_ do the conga.

You decided to have a quick peek in your SYLLADEX and see what you have in there, see what you can find in there.


	9. Lovino: equip grabber

**Lovino, look in your Sylladex.**

Within the Sylladex you have: ONE (1) ANTIQUE ROME GRABBER, THIRTY (30) RIPE AND JUICY TOMATOES, ONE (1) CROSS ON A CHAIN, ONE (1) GOLD LOCKET, TWO (2) PLATES OF PASTA, ONE (1) CRAPPY PAINTING, ONE (1) COPY OF THE TOMATO BOOK: HOW TO GROW AND COOK TOMATOES, BY GAIL HARLAND, ONE ANCIENT TOY SWORD, and ONE (1) FAKE GUN WITH TEN (10) RUBBER BULLETS INCLUDED..

Whoa, it seems that you have a lot of SHITTY CRAP in there. You didn't even know how you got all of that crap to fit in.


	10. Grab a slice of glorious pizza

**Lovino, equip grabber.**

Luckily your ANTIQUE ROME GRABBER is first in the SYLLADEX, so you equip it with ease. You got a GRABBER EXACTLY like this one from your PERVERTED and HOMOSEXUAL GRANDFATHER when you were ten, but your chum got you a replica that you like better. You use this GRABBER to pick up DIRTY CLOTHES and to MOVE STUFF around the house. The other one is just for other stuff, but you keep it under your BED.


	11. Time for an all-out rage fest

**Grab a slice of glorious pizza.**

You reach for the slice of PIZZA with your GRABBER, but it ends up SLIPPING out of its grasp and results in the PIZZA splattering ONTO THE FLOOR and STAINING THE CARPET.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

YOU'RE FUCKING _STARVING _HERE!


	12. Speaking of grandfather

**_LOVINO_**_ IS SEEN THROWING THE __**GRABBER **__OUT OF THE __**WINDOW**__ IN A BLIND FIT OF RAGE._

_THE __**GRABBER**__ FALLS OUT OF THE WINDOW AND LANDS IN THE __**TOMATO FIELDS**__ NEXT TO THE HOUSE_

Well, there goes your GRABEBR. It's a good thing that you have the spare one your GRANDFATHER got you.


	13. Look at the computer desktop

**Speaking of grandfather.**

Where is that pervert anyway?

Oh, it looks like on your chums has left you a message on your COMPUTER.


	14. Lovino: Open Pesterchum

**Look at the computer desktop.**

You pull up to your COMPUTER. You don't spend much time on here, but you can pull all-nighters on here. You decorated your desktop with WALLPAPER that you got from one of your chums. You are really proud of it, but you don't want to admit it.

Your desktop is also littered with ART TUTORIALS that you NEVER seem to understand. You wonder if you should even bother becoming an artist.

Your PESTERCHUM application is flashing. Someone is trying to get in touch with you.


	15. Lovino: Open Message

**Lovino: Open Pesterchum.**

Oh, it seems that only one of your CHUMS is online.


	16. Lovino: Look outside your window

**Lovino: Open Message.**

**_LOVINO_**_ OPENS THE MESSAGE FROM A CHUM WITH __**RED**__ FONT AND THE SCREEN NAME __**theamericanLegend**_.

**_LOVINO_**_ STARTS CONVERSING WITH __**theamericanLegend **__UNDER THE SCREEN NAME __**supremeTomatoes **__IN A __**GREEN **__FONT._

-_ theamericanLegend __**[TL] **__began pestering supremeTomatoes __**[ST]**__ at 13:18 PM_ -

**[TL]: **Dude! You there? I wanna tell you something really important and mega cool! Dude? Hello? DUDE.

**[TL]:** Dude.

**[TL]:** DUDE.

**[TL]:** DUUUDE.

**[TL]:** DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDEEEEEEEEE .

**[ST]:** TL, will you please ever so kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP?! I'm trying to enjoy my birthday in fucking peace here! God, you're so fucking annoying I sometimes wonder why I'm friends with you.

**[TL]:** Hahahahahahahahaha! Dude, take a chill pill! I just wanted to wish my awesome amigo a sweet sixteenth birthday!

**[TL]:** ... That's how you say 'friend' in Italian, right?

**[ST]:** As usual, you're a fucking idiot. Amigo is SPANISH, you ritardato. If you want to say friend in ITALIAN, it's 'amico,' but I'm sure you accidentally spelt it wrong as the letters 'c' and 'g' are a bit close to each other on the keyboard.

**[TL]:** Hahahahahahahahaha, totally dude! The awesome heroic legend like me wouldn't be stupid enough to mix up Spanish and Italian! Besides, I wanted to tell ya something, but I need to remember it now.

**[TL]:** Erm...

**[TL]:** ...

**[ST]:** Don't overwork yourself; you know thinking never does any good for you. Seeing that you have no brain cells or anything, you'd be wasting much needed energy.

**[TL]:** OK, I'm gonna ignore that and carry on thinking, because I DO have a brain, and I know that I'm a lot smarterer than you.

**[ST]:** That's not even a word, you fucking idiot!

**[TL]:** Dude I'm trying to concentrate!

**[TL]:** ...

**[TL]:** OH! I REMEMBER NOW!

**[TL]:** Did you hear about that new game?

**[ST]:** What new game? You know I don't go on the computer that much.

**[TL]:** Oh yeah, you're too cool for computers aren't you? How's your kindergarten painting going? Still painting in the lines?

**[ST]:** Fuck off, bastard! Why don't you go suck your brother's nasty fucking scones? Might do me a favour and save me the trouble from fucking KILLING you.

**[TL]:** AHAHAHAHAHA! Dude, you are freaking hilarious when you swear!

**[TL]:** Nah, seriously bro, have you heard about it?

**[ST]:** You're not even paying attention to my warnings, are you? And no, I don't think I have. What's it called, anyway?

**[TL]:** It's called SBURB, or something like that I think. It's a sweet game where you get to add stuff to your house and try to make it the coolest within a time limit.

**[ST]:** Sounds like the shit version of The Sims to me.

**[TL]:** Dude, not cool! It's a legit awesome game that only awesome people play! Besides, I got you a copy because I thought that I could let the birthday boy try and beat me.

**[TL]:** You're welcome.

**[ST]:** Wait, what are you talking about, you fatheaded bastard? I DON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY YOUR SHITTY GAME!

**[TL]:** Hahahahahaha, just check your mail, bro! Trust me, you won't regret it. B)

_- theamericanLegend __**[TL] **__ceased pestering supremeTomatoes__** [ST] **__at 14:01 PM -_


	17. Wait a second

** Lovino: Look outside your window.**

You unenthusiastically look through your window to see your mailbox next to the tomato fields. Yep, everything seems as boring and dull as...


	18. No way

** Wait a second...**

_THE RED FLAG-FLIP IS SET IN THE UPWARDS POSITION, SIGNALLING THAT HE HAS MAIL._


	19. Lovino: Converse with TL

**No way.**

He actually got you the fucking game! God he was so stupid! Now you _have _to play it!

But at least you got it for free. That's the main thing, right?

Ugh, it seems that he's trying to talk to you again.


	20. Lovino: Express rage towards chum

** Lovino: Converse with TL**

- theamericanLegend **[TL]** began pestering supremeTomatoes **[ST]** at 14:06 PM –-

**[TL]:** Dude, did you see it yet?

**[TL]:** Pls tell me that you did.

**[ST]:** I haven't gone to get it seeing that I'm talking to you, but I can see that it's in the mail alright.

**[ST]:** Honestly you didn't have to get it for me.

**[ST]:** I probably won't play the damn game anyway. You know I'm barely on the computer.

**[TL]:** Hahaha, don't worry about it. You'll play it. My bro wouldn't play it with me though. He said that it was a waste of space. But you know him, he's a stuck up douche.

**[ST]:** Well it is, isn't it? Your brother isn't stuck up if he knows a shitty game. He knows what not to waste his money on.

**[TL]:** Dude, I need you to play this game with me, or else LP will want to play it with me. and I don't actually WANT to play it with her.

**[ST]:** Wait, why would LP of all people want to play with you? Does she still have a crush on you? Or did you do something wrong to her and pissed her off?

**[TL]:** I dunno dude, but she's really starting to get on my nerves with how much she wants to play with me.

**[TL]: **she won't leave me alone! It's like she's got nothing else to do.

**[TL]: **Except annoy the living shit out of me!

**[ST]:** What was that?

**[TL]:** what was what, dude?

**[ST]:** Oh, it seems to be the last and final fuck that I give.

**[TL]:** oh ha ha ha. Thanks for the support, bro. REALLY appreciate it -_-

**[ST]:** Look, if the girl likes you and can actually stand your ANNOYING attitude, then what's the problem?

**[ST]:** At lease LP doesn't give you lectures most of the time like CM does with me. It's all "cheer up" and "shut up" from her! The lectures never end with her.

**[TL]:** Wait, aren't you two a thing then?

**[ST]:** NO. NO. NO. GOD, NO. I WOULD RATHER SHOOT MYSELF UP THE ASS. IT WOULD BE A LOT MORE PLEASURABLE.

**[TL]:** so, does that mean that you're gay...?

**[TL]:** Because if you are, I mean...

**[TL]:** I could hook you up with my brother's friend. You'd have a lot of common. you both like tomatoes, you both like naps

**[TL]:** and ur both Spanish too! it'll be a perfect homosexual relationship :D

**[ST]:** FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, I AM NOT GAY.

**[ST]:** SO DO ME A FAVOUR AND JUST FUCK OFF.

- supremeTomatoes **[ST]** stopped pestering theamericanLegend **[TL] **at 14:28 PM –-

- supremeTomatoes **[ST]** began pestering theamericanLegend **[TL]** at 14:28 PM –-

**[ST]:** AND I'M A FUCKING ITALIAN, DICKTARD.

- supremeTomatoes **[ST]** stopped pestering theamericanLegend **[TL]** at 14:29 PM –-


	21. Check if the coast is clear outside

**Lovino: Express rage towards chum**

God, that guy was so stupid that you could destroy his head with a sledgehammer. Why did everyone always assume that you were gay?! And there you thought that you made it very clear that you hated men.

Oh well, might as well get that stupid game. You're in the mood to totally OWN that douche.


	22. -:please continue:-

** Check if the coast is clear outside**

You look through your WINDOW to see that there is NO ONE there. You prepare yourself to leave your room, get that game and kick TL's ass-


	23. -:-:-

_A __**CAR**__ IS SEEN PULLING UP NEXT TO THE __**MAILBOX**__. _

_A __**HAND**__ EXTENDS FROM THE WINDOW OF THE __**CAR**__._

Wait a minute, isn't that your grandpa?


	24. Lovino: Respond to pestering chum

_THE __**HAND**__ OPENS THE LID OF THE __**MAILBOX**__ AND PULLS OUT A __**BROWN ENVELOPE, **__A__** BLUE BOX**__ AND A __**PINK BOX**__. _

**_LOVINO_**_ LOOKS AS THOUGH HE IS READY TO RIP HIS HAIR OFF OF HIS HEAD. _

OH FOR GOD'S SAKE. It seems that your grandfather has got his perverted hands on the game without your knowing, and now you're forced to leave your room and get it. You don't particularly enjoy this though, as he tends to freak you out and CALLS YOU SOMETHING ELSE instead of Lovino. But that explanation can wait for another time.

Oh God, it looks like another CHUM of yours is trying to get in touch with you.


	25. Lovino: Converse with CM

** Lovino: Respond to pestering chum.**

Oh, no, it looks like TL had gotten in touch with CM. Now it seems that she craves a word with you. You can't really ignore her now, so you guess that you have to be polite and respond back to her.


	26. Lovino: Prepare to get your stuff

** Lovino: Converse with CM**

**_LOVINO_**_ OPENS THE MESSAGE FROM A CHUM WITH __**AQUA**__ FONT AND THE SCREEN NAME__** caribbeanMermaid**_.

**_LOVINO_**_ STARTS CONVERSING WITH __**caribbeanMermaid**_

_- caribbeanMermaid __**[CM]**__ began pestering supremeTomatoes __**[ST]**__ at 14:35 PM -_

**[CM]: **First of all, let me wish you a happy birthday.

**[CM]: **Did you get my present yet?

**[ST]: **Actually, I haven't yet. I only got America's.

**[ST]: **But, uh, thanks for the birthday wish.

**[CM]: **No problem, what are friends for? :)

**[CM]: **Speaking of friends...

**[CM]:** Romano, what's this I hear about you being mean to America?

**[ST]: **WHAT?!Seychelles, I can't believe you're actually on his side for once! I didn't do anything wrong to him at all whatsoever!

**[CM]: **He kept using the crying emoticon, Romano. It was beginning to annoy me.

**[ST]:** HE ALWAYS DOES THAT FACE TO GET SYMPATHY. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT. YOU'RE THE SMART ONE.

**[CM]:** So WHY was he frequently sending me that emoticon then when he could have been sending it to Lichtenstein? He knew that I was going for my swimming lesson, so it MUST have upset him greatly. But now I can't go because he begged me to talk to you.

**[ST]:** He stopped you from going swimming, even though he KNEW you had swimming lessons?

**[ST]:** God he can be so fucking annoying.

**[CM]:** Well, it's raining anyway, so it doesn't make much of a difference.

**[ST]:** Oh... I see...

**[CM]:** So, why was America annoying me today?

**[ST]:** Ugh, he wants me to play his stupid game that he got me.

**[ST]:** But now I can't play it because my grandpa's got it, and we all know what my grandpa's like.

**[CM]:** Hmm, I have to admit, your grandpa does sound a little bit weird.

**[CM]:** But I have a feeling that there's another reason why he's annoyed you. Something that really ticks you off: like asking if you were gay or not.

**[ST]:**Seychelles, you're a fucking mind reader.

**[CM]:** Hehehe, well, he said that he was trying to "hook u up" with one of his brother's friend. He said that you didn't take it so well, so I assumed that it was a boy.

**[ST]:** Uuuuugh, why does everyone think that I'm gay?! That's my grandpa, not me!

**[CM]:** Well at least YOUR guardian doesn't walk around the house naked with a glass of wine and a rose where his genitals are.

**[ST]:** Yeah, but, he's French. French men are just walking STDs.

**[CM]:** ... I can't help but agree with you on that point. He is a little bit TOO sexually active for my liking.

**[ST]:** Oh, God, I don't wanna know -_-

**[CM]:** Hehehe, sorry about that ^^;

**[CM]:** But at least try to play this game with America. Even if it's just for five minutes, it can't be THAT bad.

**[ST]:** Are you for serious, Seychelles? HE CALLED ME GAY.

**[CM]:** Well, clarify that you're not.

**[CM]:** Say that you're dating a girl that you've liked for a really long time.

**[ST]:** I can't say that!

**[CM]:** Why not?

**[ST]:** Because he thought that you and me were dating! If I said that, he'd think that I'd be talking about YOU.

**[CM]:** Oh God.

**[CM]:** Why would he think that? That's literally impossible!

**[ST]:** It's America. Anything is possible with America -_-

**[ST]:** I gotta go, I need to get this stupid game from wherever grandpa put it.

**[ST]:** Wish me luck.

**[CM]:** Just don't let have to deal with America for a while, OK?

**[CM]:** And make sure to beat him for me :)

**[ST]:** Hahaha, trust me, I will :)

- caribbeanMermaid **[CM]** ceased pestering supremeTomatoes **[ST]** at 15:07 PM -


	27. Lovino:Get rid of the pasta and painting

** Lovino: Prepare to get your stuff**

You know that a run in with your grandpa isn't the smartest idea you had, and it is definitely one of the most dangerous things you could do. Your grandpa was known as a man of great strength and showed no mercy. Even if he was a little bit bat shit crazy, he still scared you at times.

You start to sort out your Sylladex and see if anything is rendered useless to you.


	28. Lovino: Waste time with your Sylladex

** Lovino: Get rid of the pasta and painting.**

You try to get rid of your BOWLS OF PASTA and your CRAPPY PAINTING, but you end up pushing out your FAKE GUN and all of your TOMATOES. You still don't know how to work out how to use your Sylladex properly, but you're confident that you can find a way of getting things how they should be.


	29. ---

** Lovino: Waste time trying to figure out how to work your Sylladex**

You spend WAY too long trying to figure out your Sylladex, but in the end you find yourself equipped with your FAKE GUN with your TOMATOES in your Sylladex.

You are ready for a shit storm to take place between you and your grandfather.

You were prepared for the ultimate battle. It was time to separate the boys from the men. Man on man. Boy against-


	30. Lovino: See who's pestering you now

_AN IMAGE OF A__** GIRL **__WITH__** BLONDE **__HAIR AND A__** LILAC RIBBON **__APPEARS IN A SPEECH BUBBLE NEXT TO THE__** COMPUTER.**_

**_Lovino _**_LOOKS AT THE__** COMPUTER **__WITH A FURIOUS GLARE._

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHO IS IT NOW?!


	31. Lovino: Coverse with LP

** Lovino: See who is pestering you this time**

Oh, it's only LP. Perhaps you can spare a moment to talk to her.


	32. Lovino: Reflect on what just happened

** Lovino: Converse with LP**

**_LOVINO _**_OPENS THE MESSAGE FROM A CHUM WITH__** PINK **__FONT AND THE SCREEN NAME__** liliumProphetess. **_

**_LOVINO _**_STARTS CONVERSING WITH__** liliumProphetess.**_

- liliumProphetess **[LP]** began pestering supremeTomatoes **[ST]** at 15:12 PM –-

**[LP]: **Happy birthday, Romano! I hope you got everything you wanted! How are you? Did you get my present yet?

**[ST]: **No, actually I haven't, my weirdo grandpa got all of the mail so I can't check it. Did it come in a pink box by any chance?

**[LP]:** Yup! I sent it to you a few days ago so that you'd get it on time!

**[ST]:** Oh yeah, I forgot that you lived in Switzerland. You live with your brother, right?

**[LP]:** Yeah, but he wasn't happy with me sending you a present, even when I told him that it was your birthday. He still thinks that you're some kind of pedophile.

**[ST]:** Yet he's gay for his old best friend.

**[ST]:** Well, I guess I don't blame him, as I do live with a pedo.

**[LP]:** Teehee, you're grandpa sounds funny!

**[ST]:** My grandpa is fucking insane, and his past times are fucking creepy as shit.

**[LP]:**:O Language, Romano! You have such a potty mouth on you :I

**[LP]: **Seychelles won't be happy if she saw the things that you're writing down.

**[ST]:** Wait, what are you talking about?

**[LP]:** Well, America told me that you and Seychelles were dating. So I guess I should say congratulations! :D

**[ST]:** OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

**[LP]:** O_O

**[LP]:** I don't understand... I thought you liked her anyways...

**[ST]:** I am going to make a few things clear to you...

**[ST]:** WE'RE NOT A STUPID MOTHERFUCKING ITEM, OK?!

**[ST]:** WE NEVER WERE A FUCKING, AND WE NEVER WILL BE A FUCKING COUPLE. YOU MUST BE A FUCKING IDIOT FOR BELIEVING THAT BURGER LOVING YANKEE.

**[ST]:** SHE IS JUST A FUCKING FRIEND. I DO NOT HAVE ANY SORT OF CRUSH ON HER AT ALL WHATSOEVER.

**[ST]:** SHE

**[ST]:** IS

**[ST]:** A

**[ST]:** FUCKING

**[ST]:** FRIEND.

**[ST]:** IF I HEAR YOU MENTION THAT OR THAT BASTARDS NAME AGAIN, I WILL MAKE SURE TO MAKE YOU REMEMBER NOT TO FUCK ABOUT WITH ME AGAIN.

**[LP]:** Language, Romano! I never said that you two were together in the first place, it was America! Why are you yelling at me Romano? I thought we were friends :'(

**[LP]:** This is why I can't have nice things, Romano! This is why my brother doesn't like me on here! You keep yelling at me when I don't even do anything wrong.

**[LP]:** And I know for a fact that you were yelling when you were sending me those nasty messages!

**[LP]:** You know I hate it when you yell at me! So why do you always do it to me? It's not fair! :'

**[ST]:** ...

**[LP]:** Romano...? You're mad at me, aren't you?

**[LP]:** Oh gosh, you hate me don't you?!

**[LP]:** Please don't hate me Romano!

**[ST]:** aw, damnit. im not mad at you, and i dont hate you. look, im sorry. im just ticked off at america for calling me gay when i wasnt, alright? i shouldnt have taken it out of you. plus my head kinda hurts as well and im freaking tired as heck. but i shouldnt have been so mean to you, especially since america was the one who told you that crap. im sorry.

**[LP]:** :O Wow, you must be really tired: you're not using any punctuation marks! Or capitalizing the first word of a new sentence! Most of all, you're not swearing!

**[ST]:** haha, glad that youre more worried about my grammar than my state of wellbeing. i think ill just sleep for a while. my heads hurting like a bitch.

**[LP]:** Language!

**[ST]:** I mean, like a douche.

**[ST]:** see ya later, lichtenstein.

- supremeTomatoes **[ST]** ceased pestering liliumProphetess **[LP]** at 15:38 PM –-


	33. Lovino: Have a well-deserved siesta

** Lovino: Reflect on what just happened.**

You decide that it would be best to just sleep for a while. You had a painful HEADACHE due to that no good AMERICA spreading that bullshit about you and SEYCHELLES. You like her and all, but you can't really see her with you to be honest. She'd go for someone with brains and good lucks and you were just... average.

But that doesn't mean that you have a crush on her. When you next saw AMERICA, you were ready to give him at least two punches in the face.

ONE: For spreading that bullshit.

TWO: Making you make LICHENSTEIN upset. God you never liked upsetting her. It always... unnerved you.


	34. Lovino: Be Seychelles

** Lovino: Have a well-deserved birthday siesta.**

**_LOVINO _**_FLINGS HIMSELF ONTO HIS __**BED **__AND CURLS UP INTO A LITTLE BALL. _

_THERE IS A 'Z' IN A SPEECH BUBBLE ABOVE HIS HEAD TO SIGNAL THAT HE IS ASLEEP._


	35. Enter Your Name

** Lovino: Be Seychelles**

You are now SEYCHELLES. You are standing in your room, waiting to go SWIMMING. It is your FAVOURITE hobby, alongside READING and PAINTING, although no one else knows this. However, we cannot continue, as we do not know your real name!

So, what is it then?


	36. Give it another go

** Enter Name**

_QueenFishy McFishyFish_

What the- _why_?


	37. Examine Your Room

** Give it another go**

_Angelique Laroche_

Well, we got there in the end.


	38. Angelique: Prepare to do swimming

** Examine Room.**

Your name is ANGELIQUE, but you are known by your chums as SEYCHELLES. You got up early to get ready for your SWIMMING SESSION, as you can't get enough of swimming. As previously stated, you like READING and PAINTING, something that was forced onto you by your PERVERTED FRENCH GUARDIAN from when you were a child. Your room is IMMACULATE. You like everything in order. When it comes to books, you can't get enough of JANE AUSTIN'S and MARY SHELLEY'S works. You would like to be an OLYMPIC SWIMMER when you're older, but an AUTHOR is your second preferable job.

What will you do?


	39. Angelique: Talk to Romano

**Angelique: Prepare to go swimming.**

You're already wearing your two-piece swimming suit underneath your dress so that your PERVERTED GUARDIAN doesn't get aroused, even though he's usually more concerned about OTHERS staring at you in your swimming suit.

You have your goggles in your SWIMMING BAG and you even have your SNORKEL KIT. You are just so prepared to go swimming. But first, you need to make sure that your CHUM, ROMANO, got the BIRTHDAY PRESENT that you sent him.


	40. Angelique: Converse with LP

**Angelique: Talk to Romano**

You pick up your LAPTOP that was on your BED to talk to your chum.

Oh, it seems that LP wants to talk to you. Well, you might as well talk to her for a moment or two.


	41. Angelique: Reflect on what just happened

**Angelique: Converse with LP**

- liliumProphetess **[LP]** began pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM]** at 13:58 PM –-

**[LP]:** Hey there, Seychelles! I haven't spoken to you in a while! How are you? How's your day been so far?

**[CM]:** Ah, hello there Lichtenstein. It has been a while since our last talk. A week or so ago, wasn't it? Well, I'm fine, thanks for asking, and I'm about to go swimming in about two minutes. How are you?

**[LP]:** I'm feeling splendid, thank you very much! Vash is going to take me to my shooting lesson in an hour, I'm quite excited! But you /can't/ be going out today! Today's the day!

**[CM]:** Oh? Today's the day for what?

**[LP]:** Oh Seychelles, you silly thing, you! Well, the first thing is that it's Romano's birthday today! You can't have forgotten, could you?

**[CM]:** Hehehe, Lichtenstein, I am the /last/ person to forget his birthday, or yours, or America's. I have all of your birthdays on my calendar, and my papa never stops reminding me when your birthdays are getting closer.

**[CM]:** But if Romano's birthday is the first thing, then tell me

**[CM]:** what's the second thing to today?

**[LP]:** Teehee, it's a very big thing today. You know those dreams I told you about a while ago? About us as being gods with different signs?

**[CM]:** Is this the conversation where I was a witch and I asked whether or not I had green skin?

**[LP]:** Yes! Exactly that! You were the Witch of Mind, I was the Mage of Life, Romano was the Rogue of Heart, and America was the Knight of Blood because we were able to make our god tiers! Do you remember now? Today's the day where we make our journey to the god tiers.

**[CM]:** Of course, Lichtenstein. I'm sure we'll all be one with the gods.

**[CM]:** I still think that that dream you had was downright ridiculous. It's as ridiculous as America's thoughts on what house we'd be in if we went to Hogwarts.

**[CM]:** You know, when America /insisted/ that he was in Gryffindor and Romano was in Slytherin? And Romano was miserable for the rest of the day?

**[LP]:** Why was I in Hufflepuff, now that I remember?

**[CM]:** Because you're the nicest one out of all of us.

**[CM]:** And the most innocent, despite the fact that YOU'RE the one with the gun.

**[LP]:** . Seychelles, I only just realised that you made me go off topic!

**[CM]:** Oops, sorry about that Lichtenstein.

**[CM]:** But I'm not going to lie, but your dream is just downright bizarre. We can't be gods of any sorts, be it Mind, Blood, Heart or Life.

**[CM]:** It's basically impossible.

**[LP]: **Oooh, its so /frustrating/ trying to make you realize how important this is right now! Since when would I lie to you, hmph?

**[CM]:** Good point. OK then, how is this epic journey going to start?

**[LP]:** Well, that's easy! Did your papa bring up a blue-ish envelope to you this morning? It should have a seal on it.

* * *

_ANGELIQUE LOOKS TO HER DESK AND SEES A BLUE ENVELOPE WITH A DARK GREEN SEAL ON IT._

_SHE LOOKS AT IT IN DISBELIEF BEFORE RETURNING TO HER CHAT WITH LP._

* * *

**[CM]:** Now that you mention it, I /do/ have a blue envelope. Did you send it to me a while ago? And, how did you know that I'd get it today?

**[LP]:** That's not important! Inside the envelope is SBURB game that America always talk about. We need to play the game to start our journey; it's absolutely crucial.

**[LP]:** Which is /why/ you can't go out swimming today!

**[CM]:** I can't really help the fact that I had to have my swimming session today. If I want to qualify for the Olympics, I need to practise as much as I can.

**[LP]:** But it's going to rain soon!

**[CM]:** Erm... when?

**[LP]:** Around about ten seconds from when I send this message.

* * *

_ANGELIQUE LOOKS OUT HER WINDOW. THE SKY IS CLEAR AND THE SUN IS SHINING BRIGHTLY._

_JUST AS SEYCHELLES TURNS AWAY, THERE IS A SUDDEN SOUND OF THUNDER AND A FLASH OF LIGHTNING AS RAIN PELTS DOWN FROM OUTSIDE._

_IT HAD TAKEN EXACTLY TEN SECONDS._

* * *

**[CM]:** How on earth do you do that? Every damn time you've done that you've always predicted it exactly right.

**[LP]:** Teehee, I guess I'm just gifted with the third sight!

**[CM]:** You never cease to amaze me, you know that? You have to teach me how you do that.

**[LP]:** Teehee, don't worry; you'll be able to do what I do. You'll even be better than me!

**[LP]:** Oh, I have to go. It seems that America needs to talk to you! Bye bye!

**[CM]:** Wait, why does America need to talk to me? Is something the matter with him?

**[CM]:** Lichtenstein, wait!

- liliumProphetess **[LP]** ceased pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM]** at 14:26 PM –-


	42. Angelique: Check your window

**Angelique: Reflect on what's just happened.**

You cannot reflect on what's just happened, because it didn't make any goddamn sense to you at all whatsoever!

Honestly, that was as random as the SPANISH INQUISITION. But no one can escape the SPANISH INQUISITION.

What the hell are you talking about?


	43. Angelique: Read the messages

**Angelique: Check your window.**

Ah, well that's your swimming session out of the window. You don't understand how LICTENSTEIN can predict what's going to happen at times. It made you wonder if she was born with SOME MAGICAL POWERS that you were meant to be born with. But you don't want to think about your so called POWERS now.

One of your CHUMS seems to have left you A SERIES OF MESSAGES. You swear if it's AMERICA you were ready to start experimenting on LICHTENSTEIN.


	44. Angelique: Talk to Romano -2-

**Angelique: Read the messages**

- theamericanLegend **[TL]** began pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM] **at 14:29 PM -

**[TL]: **Seychelles, are you there?

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **Seychelles

**[TL]: **...Seychelles?

**[TL]: **Seeeeyccchhhhellleeees?

**[TL]: :'(**

**[TL]: **OK then, i guess you hate me too :'(

**[TL]: **and you have your swimming lesson and all,

**[TL]: **but can you just talk to Romano for me?

**[TL]: **i think he hates me because i was trying to hook him up with one of my bros friends, but he just flipped on me! :'(

**[TL]:** he was capslocking ((i guess that he was screaming at the screen when he was typing it, so I think the caps lock was like him yelling at me?)) at me saying that he was annoyed at me :'(

**[TL]: **and then he told me to fuck off :'(

**[TL]: **so could you like, talk to him for me? i know that ur the only one who can calm him down properly. pls? :'(

- theamericanLegend **[TL]** ceased pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM] **at 14:31 PM -

- theamericanLegend **[TL]** began pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM] **at 14:31 PM -

**[TL]:** oh, and b4 i go, dyk, hes not spanish hes italian :o

**[TL]:** well, talk to him for me, k? pls? :'(

- theamericanLegend **[TL]** ceased pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM] **at 14:32 PM -

* * *

OK, this is some messed up shit. Note to self: make sure to probe LICTHENSTEIN for experimentation AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. You don't really understand what was wrong, but you guessed that AMERICA had said something that might have offended ROMANO, therefore leaving AMERICA to try and pester you instead. You assume that you could try and talk to ROMANO. There are always two sides to one story, after all.


	45. Angelique: Converse with America

**Angelique: Talk to Romano**

You then take part in a conversation that has already occurred earlier on, but here's a reminder for you in case you've forgotten.

* * *

**_[CM]:_**_ Well at least YOUR guardian doesn't walk around the house naked with a glass of wine and a rose where his genitals are._

**_[ST]:_**_ Yeah, but, he's French. French men are just walking STDs. _

**_[CM]:_**_ ... I can't help but agree with you on that point. He is a little bit TOO sexually active for my liking._

**_[ST]:_**_ Oh, God, I don't wanna know -_-_

* * *

You then decide to think about what AMERICA told you. To be honest, you were more on ROMANO'S side than AMERICA'S as he tended to be A LITTLE BIT STUPID. But you would just put it down to AMERICA not being a good judge of character.

Oh, it seems that AMERICA wants to talk to you again.


	46. Angelique: Change your plans a little

**Angelique: Converse with America**.

- theamericanLegend **[TL]** began pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM] **at 15:09 PM –

**[TL]: **dude, are u there? did u talk 2 Romano 4 me?

**[CM]:** As a matter of fact, I did. He told me that you want to play a game with him and that you were annoying him over it, and tried to say that he was attracted to men. Honestly America due to what you said to him, I'm not surprised that he snapped at you. I would have if someone assumed that I was a lesbian. The fact that you thought that the two of us were together slightly repulsed me, as we're friends and nothing more.

**[CM]:** But no, he doesn't forgive you, and I don't blame him, nor did I have to ask him if he did forgive you.

**[TL]: **omg r u on his side?! geeeez Seychelles, i thought u were a cool girl! u know, not snobby and mean -_-

**[TL]:** he's the 1 actin' all crazy over it! he could've just told me calmly and nicely, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo. he had 2 flip his shit at me.

**[TL]:** u sound and whine just like him -_-

**[CM]:** If anyone is being mean I would say it was /you/ for being so judgemental about Romano's sexual preference! He's made it obvious that he doesn't go that way, and you /know/ that! Besides, if you want to apologise, then apologise yourself!

**[CM]:** And why on earth do you think he's gay?

**[TL]:** becuz he IS!

**[TL]:** look, its so obvious that hes gay and that hes in denial. he keeps going on about how gay his grandpa is, and how some troll on Pesterchum keeps tryin' to flirt with him and how he h8s it! but its obviously tension between them. SEXUAL tension.

**[CM]:**America, /he's being trolled/. Of course Romano would lose his temper and hate what they're doing, that's what trolls /do/.

**[TL]:** what the actual fuck r u using those "/ blablabla /" things for. r they meant to mean something?

**[CM]:** I'm only doing them as if I could write in italics.

**[TL]:** erm, u do realise that u could just do _this_ u know?

**[CM]:** How on earth did you do that?!

**[TL]:** it's easy... all u do is "ctrl"+"I." u know, like in _Word_.

**[CM]:** _like this?_

**[TL]: **there u go! _and then_ _u press "ctrl"+"I" to turn italics off_, like this.

**[CM]:** Ah, I think I get it now! Thank you very much America :)

**[TL]:** no problem sis. wat r friends 4? B)

**[TL]:** awh, shit, Lichtenstein wants 2 talk 2 me. i guess i have 2, don't i?

**[CM]:** May I ask _why_ you're so against talking to Lichtenstein? I mean, she _did_ get you that amazing birthday present last year, and she's not bad to talk to if you need some moral support.

**[TL]:** k, Lichtenstein is rlly cool, i know that. but the fact that she keeps going on and on about how we need 2 play SBURB is really starting to irritate me.

**[TL]:** I mean, I've got the game and all, and I sent Romano one for his birthday. But I don't know _how_ she found out about it and how she got the game before me! She freaks me out. She's like some kind of time guru or something like that.

**[TL]:** She's sweet, she's kind, she's downright fucking awesome. But she freaks me out more than enough times.

**[CM]:** I've just realised something about the way you type.

**[TL]:** :?

**[CM]:** Your punctuation and grammar slightly improves when you become more serious. You rely less on text slang.

**[CM]:** And what's with that face? Have you been searching the internet for more emoticons to use?

**[TL]:** erm... no, not exactly...

**[TL]: **someone else used it, so i kinda stole it off of them.

**[CM]:** Ah, I see what you mean. Well, it's not that bad to be honest. It's rather... unique! I like it.

**[CM]:** But getting back onto the topic of the game. You said that Lichtenstein knew that you had the game and rent it to Romano, and that she got it before you. Perhaps you told her about plans to get it in advance, so she wanted the game so that you had someone to play with?

**[TL]:** im telling u, she's a stalker at times!

**[TL]:** hey, wait a min, ur like her bff. cant u get her 2 stop talkin 2 me? plz?

**[CM]:** She's not a stalker, and you know it. Lichtenstein is harmless compared to you.

**[TL]:** hey!

**[TL]:** wats that supposed 2 mean?

[CM]: Hehehe. It means that compared to Lichtenstein, you're most definitely the worst out of all of us. You cause the most havoc, albeit you don't mean to, and you're the one who always makes it your job to pester people. I'm surprised the trolls haven't annoyed you yet.

**[TL]:** they have! well, tried least. i think i kinda scared some away 4 a while. but 1 of them was okish i guess.

**[TL]:** but they hate me becuz i said that they had a crush on me

**[TL]:** ;)

**[CM]:** Hmm, that actually doesn't seem like such a bad idea! One of them keeps going on about how much they hate me, yet they don't even know my name!

**[TL]:** wait, ur nickname or ur _real_ name?

**[CM]: **My nickname, why?

**[TL]:** becuz if they knew ur real name, shits gonna go down in funky town where they will defo gonna die young becuz im like the BOSS.

**[TL]: **BOOM. guess u dont know how many song refs were in _that_. B)

**[CM]:** I'll make a list.

**[CM]:** Funky town, by Lipps, Inc.

**[CM]:** Die Young, by Kesha.

**[CM]:** Like a Boss, by The Lonely Island.

**[CM]:** I assume that the long pause shows that I'm right ^_^

**[TL]:** ah, fuck u man. every time. BI

**[TL]:** shit, i have 2 go, my bro is callin me 4 dinner even tho he cant cook X(

**[CM]:** Oh dear ^^; Well, I hope you survive to talk to me soon!

**[TL]:** hahahahaha itll take more than his cookin 2 kill me off B) see ya!

- theamericanLegend **[TL]** ceased pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM] **at 15:37 PM -


	47. Angelique: Dramatically trip over

**Angelique: Change your plans a little**

You would do that, but you have no idea of what to do! You suppose that it wouldn't be so bad to go for a quick walk around the beach-


	48. Angelique: Investigate parcel

**Angelique: Dramatically trip over**

_ANGELIQUE is see falling over a red, white and blue box, dramatically flailing in mid-air before falling onto her face_

OK, who's wise idea was it to leave that box there?! You could have died there! Well, that's overdoing it a tad. But you could have seriously hurt yourself! Might as well see who left this box there in the first place. You're clumsy enough as it is!


	49. Angelique: Prepare to find Papa

**Angelique: Investigate parcel**

_ANGELIQUE looks at the box and finds a note attached in very fancy handwriting. It reads: "To my gracious Angelique, although your birthday is a long way away, I bought you this gift in order for you to realise how much you mean to me. I love you, my precious mermaid. Love, Papa xxx"_

Why it seems to be a gift from your papa! Your papa was always one to leave you gifts at the most random of times. You wonder if it's because you reminds him OF THAT ONE RELATIVE THAT NO ONE REMEMBERS. You decide that it would be only kind to thank your papa for such a wonderful gift. You just need to find out what it is!


	50. Angelique: See who it is

**Angelique: Prepare to find papa**

You were just about to head out just as you saw your PESTERCHUM showing you a NOTIFICATION. You wonder who it could be?


	51. Angelique: Converse with CA

**Angelique: See who it is**

Hmm? Is it that annoying internet troll again? Ugh, you recognise that awful fishy tone anywhere. Honestly, why won't they ever leave you alone, you already spoke to them a few weeks ago!

The troll went by **caligulasAquarium** or something stupid like that. Well, you might as well entertain them for a while


	52. Angelique: Try and calm your rage

**Angelique: Converse with CA**

- caligulasAquarium** [CA]** began pestering carribeanMermaid **[CM] **at 15:47 PM –

**[CA]: **so wwe meet again landweller wwho wwouldvve thought that our paths wwould cross like this

**[CM]: **You're joking, right? You spoke to me a few weeks ago about your undying hate against me 'and all landwellers.' You really are annoying.

**[CA]: **i wwont take that tone from you you no good god damn wwench

**[CM]: **And yet, you wonder why I tend to hate you with an undying passion.

**[CA]: **i aint havvin that tuna tone from a landwweller like you but I havve a question to ask you

**[CA]: **havve you by any chance played that infernal game yet

**[CM]: **Why should you care?

**[CA]: **thats not the point, you disgusting landwweller

**[CM]: **Please stop calling me a landweller. You _know_ my nickname, so why not use that instead of that annoying term.

**[CA]: **do you really think that i havve time to try and spell out Seywhatchamacallit in evvery single sentence that i wwrite to you

**[CA]: **no i dont

**[CA]: **so im goin to call you a landwweller, so you better suck it up, you pathetic human

**[CM]: **Well, I'll call you Sergeant FISH FOR BRAINS then. Honestly, like my friend would say, you're all talk and no balls. Stop trying to act cool and actually try to be tolerable for once in your sad, pathetic life!

**[CA]: **this is wwhy i cant stand talkin to such a disgraceful species wwhy i continue speakin to you ill nevver know

**[CM]: **Oh, can you hear that sound?

**[CA]: **wwhat in the name of alternia are you talkin about

**[CM]: **Oh, it seems to be the sound of me

**[CM]: **Casually not giving two shits

**[CM]: **Now I'm going to make sure that this is the _last_ time you try to talk to me again.

**[CM]: **Goodbye, and good riddance.

**[CA]: **wwait

**[CA]: **dont go i need to tell you somethin about the game

- caribbeanMermaid **[CM]** ceased pestering caligulasAquarium** [CA]** at 16:00 PM –

- caribbeanMermaid **[CM]** **has blocked** caligulasAquarium** [CA] !**


End file.
